June Week 4: Is That All You Are Having??

As we dive deeper into June and into our topic of social eating, I want to look at how we allow others to influence our food choices in social settings, and how we can become better at sticking to our dining out goals. This is a huge topic that many clients struggle with!

IS THAT ALL YOU ARE HAVING???

The desire to please others runs strong in us.  The instinct comes from our caveman roots when, if we didn’t go along with what everyone else in the cave was doing, we got kicked out into the cold night air with the animals.

Nowadays, getting kicked out of the cave may not be so obvious, but the urge to please, not rock the boat and do what everyone else is doing when it comes to social eating, can be dangerous to our long-term, permanent weight mastery. So in that case, it is serious!

Here are some tactics to stay true to your goals by not giving in to pressure:

1. Think about what you really want to eat BEFORE you go: Often, we show up at a social event with the “hope” of being good. If you get quiet before you go out to the restaurant or the social event, and take that moment to think through how you want feel when you leave, it will help leverage your willpower during the event to put up with social pressure. If you feel good about what you are doing, and there is no conflict within you, then it will be easier to deal with others.  Get clear with your number one challenge: you!
2. Consider social pressure BEFORE you get there: Think about the group of people you will be hanging with and how they may try and persuade you off your healthy course of action ahead of time. Then you can come up with and practice your strategy so you wont be caught off guard.
   
   Understand where the pressure is coming from: 
   • People want you to do what they are doing so they don’t have to feel what they are doing is “bad”. People want you to “pig-out” because they are giving themselves permission to. Nobody wants someone ordering the salad when pizza and beer is being ordered by the rest.
     • SOLUTION: Let them off the hook. Say you have an allergy or have been avoiding cheese because it has not been agreeing with you. Let them know you would have the pizza if you could. Give them the license to do what they wish without feeling like you will be judging them.
   • People want to be appreciated. Usually people encourage you to eat because they honestly think you want to eat and enjoy what they have made you. Think of the hostess who knows you are going to love the cake she made. She really wants you to have a good time and also wants to be appreciated for her cake.
     • SOLUTION: Appreciate them!!! Let the hostess know what an amazing time you are having and that you so appreciate her cake and how amazing it looks and how clever she is to have made it and offer to help her serve it. You can take a few bites (3 bite rule) or just wait until she is not looking and put it down.
3. Be a trendsetter by choosing the restaurant. Why don’t you find a great restaurant that offers all kinds of choices and suggest it to the crowd? Be the first to have a plan. These days, most people do want to have some healthy options.
4. Bring the healthy but amazing dish: Don’t hope that someone is going to make a salad or a vegetable at your next event, be the one to bring it. Find a cool new recipe and see how popular you will be. Often people love the fact that you brought something healthy and admire you for having the chutzpah to bring it!
5. Order last: If you are ordering as a table, be the last to order. Everyone will have gone on with their conversation and won’t be paying attention to what you asked for. This way, you can be really clear with the waiter about what you need.
6. Suggest a walk before, during or after: When eating out or going to a social event, there usually is an opportunity to burn some calories with a nice social walk before, during or after. Inviting people to do this sets the stage for a health gathering where all the cavemen in the cave are making the healthy lifestyle choices. Be the health leader among your fellow cavemen and women.

As a master, I invite you to see that you can Shift social pressure into an opportunity to be a leader of health. Understanding first what you want and desire is paramount. When you are clear and you show people how much you enjoy being healthy and making healthy choices, people will get attracted to your energy and follow suit! Try this out this week and have a great one!