June Week 3: Shift Your Order

When I started working with clients as a hypnotherapist and weight release coach, one of the most interesting things that struck me is how hesitant, dare I say even, scared, many people are of asking waiters for what they need when dining out. As masters, we need to be in charge of our environments and that means restaurants, too. This week we are going to focus on the restaurant experience.

SHIFT YOUR ORDER

We live in an eat-out society where most of us spend a few meals a week sending a waiter to the kitchen with an order for some food that we are going to eat.  Many offerings on many restaurant menus, served as is, will be covered in fat or fried in grease or will be too big or too starchy—just too darn unhealthy and caloric to be put in front of us in our vulnerable and hungry state at a restaurant table.

Studies show that we tend to eat as much as 70% more when we are eating out with other people. So it makes sense that if we are going to achieve and maintain long-term permanent weight release, we should feel comfortable enough to ask the waiter, or waitperson, for what we need.

So why is it so hard to ask the waiter for what we need?  Is it our social need to be nice?  To not make waves?  To go with the flow?  Is it that we don’t want to seem difficult or needy?  Are we afraid that the people sitting with us will think less of us or make comments?  Are we afraid that the waiter will say no?  Or refuse to serve us?  Do they remind us of mom?  Or frighten us with their powerful “you better be nice to me or I will spit in your food” stare?  Are we afraid that the waiter will take our order to the chef and they will stand there cursing our name for being such a high maintenance diva?

Let’s break the server/customer experience down and see if we can remove some fear and make some Shifts.

1. SHIFT yourself: Before entering in the restaurant, take a moment to get mindful with yourself about how you want to leave the restaurant. Create a vision of leaving the restaurant feeling light and proud of yourself, having ordered well and eating healthfully. Really feel the emotion of leaving the restaurant this way.
2. SHIFT the waiter: Here comes the waiter, bringing you some bread. Greet the waiter nicely because chances are you are going to be asking them to do something for you.  Look them in the eye, acknowledge their humanness.  Make a connection,then make a request: “could you please take the bread away”.  That’s right Shift the waiter with your smile and befriend them.
3. SHIFT the menu: When the waiter brings the menu, look at it like it was a grocery shopping list and that all the elements listed on the menu are items that could be put together to create your own dish. That’s right, Shift the menu. I look at dishes on the menus as mere suggestions of what the chef (or kitchen) can create.
   
   Why do I think this?  Because I have been a waitress in the kitchen. I know the chef is bored and throwing the same old stuff together. I know that all the ingredients are hanging out in the kitchen ready to be assembled my way. I also know that when a waiter brings in a special order, often the chef or cook (unless it is super busy) is pleased to have something to create that is different than what they usually slop on the plate.
4. SHIFT your order: Here is a tip: when ordering, ask for what you want rather than what you don’t want.  It’s easier to say “could you please put this and that and this and that together for me” instead of “I want this salad but hold the this and substitute the that and put these things on the side”. It’s the Shift between seeming creative and high maintenance.
   
   My favorite go to is to order fresh greens with some steamed or grilled veggies on top with grilled chicken or fish (I ask for a small amount of protein) and then a sauce (BBQ, dressing, salsa, marinara) or dressing on the side.  This order usually is about 300 calories (without the sauce) and I have never been turned down or sneered at or laughed at. I actually have had waiters say to me “wow that sounds good” or serve the food and have many people wish they had ordered what I have ordered.

Do not be afraid to have the waiter bring you half the meal and wrap the rest to go. You can always eat the rest of your meal later!

Bottom line is this: waiters are people, too! Do not fear them, befriend them. Your waiter is your messenger to the chef - the butter wielding maniac in the kitchen. Often servers are struggling with their own weight issues and so can relate and will go out of their way to accommodate your needs.

Practice using the following requests before dining out so that you will feel prepared:

• “May I have that sauce/dressing on the side?”
• “Can you split that entrée in the kitchen and box half for me to take home?
• “May I have that poached instead of fried?”
• “I would love a bowl of steamed veggies with just a touch of pasta and marinara—instead of all pasta”
• “May I have a 3 oz cut of the steak instead of 8 oz?”
• “May I have a child size portion of that?”

I hope this lesson has served you. I felt a big shift when I got clear that I didn’t have to be a victim of restaurants and their menus or the waiters. Try it out this week! Enter the restaurant with a vision and follow these easy steps. You will feel more restaurant savvy in no time.

See you at the salad bar!