March Week 1: Be Here, Not There

Is it March already? I hate to sound cliché, but these first few months have gone so fast, I can hardly believe it’s almost Spring. Life has become so fast paced hasn’t it?

So it makes sense in this “I want it now, expect it now, and get it now” world why it is hard to have patience when it comes to weight release. Diets, cleanses and fad regimes give the allure of the quick fix but we know that those quick fixes never last and leave us feeling worse than before.

So, this month, we are going to focus on developing patience and persistence with the weight release process—so that we can actually make true and lasting changes that are meaningful to not just our health but to our confidence as well.

BE HERE, NOT THER

When I struggled with my weight, I couldn’t take the weight off fast enough. Ever.

The excess weight on my body that I felt when I sat or looked at myself in the mirror always taunted me, “You are a failure, you are a loser, you are weak and don’t measure up.”

Therefore my thinking was, if I could lose the weight I could also lose this horrible feeling I had about myself and that I could finally succeed, I could win, I could be a contender.

I would go out of the way to lose the weight fast. I would jog for miles in the heat, I would drink god-awful shakes, I would take pills and diuretics and even laxatives in order to slim down so I could measure up.

When the weight didn’t come off as fast as I wanted I would get upset. I would have a bad day if the scale was up. I would be nervous about weighing myself because if the scale wasn’t going down fast enough it meant that I was failing and that I would be doomed to hate myself and feel horrible about myself for still being fat. The word “LOSER” ringing even louder in my head.

WHY ARE YOU HERE??

Almost 3 decades ago, I had a revelation about the whole process of releasing weight.

I lost patience with losing patience. Seriously, I got fed up with being fed up with the scale not going down fast enough. I realized that the stress I put on myself to get thin in order to measure up to some skinny standard in my head was causing me to break down and eat even more!

I realized that in order to lose the weight around my hips, I would need to lose the heavy weight of what was in my heart first.  I couldn’t stand not being able to stand myself and so I decided to do this crazy experiment

What if I allowed myself to love myself and respect myself today, without waiting for the proof to show up on the scale?

What if I become patient and kind with myself and started a more powerful way of communicating and showing up for myself in this area of my life?

What if I was okay with who I was today?

Then could I lose the anxious feeling that I had to get to the future thin me in order to begin living my life? Then could I begin to nourish my body within my own energy needs for weight release out of self-respect rather than punish myself and restrict myself out of disrespect?

Then could I begin to set standards for myself care and my need for support from other people knowing that I wanted to set up a life that worked for me because I liked me rather than a chaotic life of dysfunctional acting out, hoping it would all magically change when I got thin?

As I began my, be here today, like myself today experiment, a cool thing happened. I calmed down. I started to really look at shifting my life not because I was fat but because I loved myself and I wanted to give myself a life worth living.

As this new tender loving relationship took root and I tended to it daily,I began using the scale for what it was meant to be used for, to collect data, not to beat myself up with.

I began using food and exercise as a way to show myself how much I meant to me, not as a way to punish myself.

I began to demand more of myself in myself because I respected myself and knew I could rise to the challenge.

And so my patience experiment grew and blossomed and I loved myself not only down the scale but into a powerful relationship with myself in this part of my life.

Now I wish the same for you:

Just for this week, I give you the challenge of focusing on paying attention to the reasons other than weight loss that you are making your journey to weight mastery.

What are your deeper reasons beyond the number on the scale or the size pants you wear?

What is the relationship you wish to have with yourself?  How can you begin to cultivate that today? Can you give yourself permission to appreciate yourself today?

Take those moments to sow a seed a day of patiently and persistently appreciating and respecting yourself wherever you are today. Watch those seeds grow into something even more powerful than you could ever dream possible.

Have a wonderful patient and persistent week.