May Week 2: Am I Going To Eat Over This?

Life never lines up for us to be “good” on a diet. Life is always throwing us curves: crappy days, life drama, maddening life stuff, happy celebrations.  If we are prone to eat over all these turns in the road of life, that road can get pretty twisty.

This month, as we look at seeking support from ourselves and others, I want to explore a powerful intervention tool that I discovered on my own weight release journey.

AM I GOING TO EAT OVER THIS?

A Powerful Question and 3 Slimming Self-Support Responses

I was so pissed off!  How dare they? My two best friends couldn’t make it to my birthday party. Why weren’t they coming? Didn’t they love me? Wasn’t I cool enough?

I was angry and I was eating, chomping away as I processed my hurt.  All of a sudden, I 'came to' as I reached the bottom of the icing bowl. Without even knowing, I had demolished all of the chocolate frosting hours before my birthday party.

Now on top of angry, I felt sick and sad. My friends hadn’t ruined my birthday, I had, with my response to finding out they couldn’t come.

Have you ever been in a situation when something in life happened and you ate over it because that just seemed like the thing to do at the time? The only response that your brain would allow you do?

As I began practicing Thin Thinking and being more mindful about feeding myself to nourish my body and feeding my needs in other ways, I discovered a powerful tool that my Inner Coach can use to interrupt the speeding railroad train of the urge to eat to numb my feelings.

The tool goes as follows:

1. I notice my feeling and acknowledge it, “I am hurt! Those Bit***s aren’t coming to my party.”
2. I allow the feeling and say: “it’s okay to feel the feeling that I am mad at my friends”. So often we try to push away uncomfortable feelings. If you allow them in and label them, you begin to have power over them versus them having power over you.
3. I ask myself the question: “Am I going to eat over this? Because if I am, I had better come up with another solution.” This allows your stressed and emotional brain a big pause, a real self care moment and a chance to shift gears from the thought of eating to the thought of truly taking care of ourselves. If we eat to numb, we not only add unneeded calories to our bodies, but we lose the chance to find something that will truly take care of us. Using food as a band-aid doesn’t take care of us, rather it leaves us feeling worse than before.
4. If the answer is 'yes', try one of these 3 more slimming alternatives:
   • Forgive Whoever Wronged You (even if it was you who wronged you.) Resentment is like eating poison and expecting the other person to die. My two friends were off living their lives oblivious to the fact that I shoveled 2000 calories worth of icing down my throat. To forgive is divine and it’s damn slimming too. Do what I call an “Insta-Forgive”. Don’t forgive them for them, forgive them for you — just let it go. If you need to take an action later—like speak with the person—you can do that too — but insta forgive them up front so they don’t cause you both anger and an additional pound of wiggle in the back.
   • Rest in Peace Often when we are feeling extreme emotions that cause us to eat, we are tired and our brain is overwhelmed. Sometimes just a quick 10 minute lie down is all we  need to pull our self out of fight or flight eating mode and into thinking more rationally about how to really deal with an issue. If you can get some zzzzs, all the better. Research shows we need many respites through the day but our fast-paced culture breeds it out of us. Scarlett O’Hara said “I’ll think about it tomorrow.” We say, “I’ll think about it after my nap.”
   • Get Some Coaching From a Friend  Calling someone or reaching out to process your feelings is a great way to connect with people. People love to help — so take advantage.  Let someone contribute to you! Chances are your friend has been through what you are going through or can at least hear you out and let you process what just happened. Sometimes, it helps to ask for specifically what you need, like — “I need your opinion, what would you do?” or “I don’t need your opinion, but I would love for you just to hear me and let me process is that okay?”

This 4 step tool has been one of the best ways that I have grown my ability to break out of emotional eating situations. It has also allowed me to appreciate what a great problem solver my Inner Coach really is.

I hope you will try this powerful tool out soon, although I hope it isn’t because your friends don’t show up to your birthday!